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Unveiling the Dance: When Covert and Overt Narcissists Collide in a Relationship

Relationships are intricate dances of emotions, needs, and personalities. When two individuals with different psychological tendencies come together, it can either be a harmonious fusion or a chaotic collision. In this blog post, we delve into the intriguing dynamics that unfold when covert and overt narcissists collide in a relationship. Buckle up for an exploration of self-absorption, power plays, and the delicate balance of egos.


Covert and Overt Narcissists Collide in a Relationship

Understanding Covert and Overt Narcissism:

Before we dive into the complexities of their union, let's distinguish between covert and overt narcissism. An overt narcissist tends to display grandiosity, seek attention, and demand admiration openly. They are typically extroverted and may exhibit a sense of entitlement. On the other hand, covert narcissist is more subtle in their self-absorption, often appearing shy, introverted, and even empathetic. They maintain a false humility while nurturing a deep need for validation and control.

The Magnetic Attraction:

Interestingly, the initial stages of a relationship between a covert and an overt narcissist can be surprisingly magnetic. Their distinct but complementary traits often draw them towards each other. The overt narcissist, craving adoration and appreciation, finds the covert narcissist's seemingly empathetic and attentive nature appealing. Meanwhile, the covert narcissist is attracted to the overt narcissist's boldness and extroversion, which compensates for their own reserved and introverted tendencies.

The Power Struggle:

As the relationship progresses, the power dynamics between covert and overt narcissists start to emerge. The overt narcissist, driven by their insatiable need for control and dominance, may use their charisma and extroversion to manipulate situations and people to their advantage. In contrast, the covert narcissist, employing a more subtle approach, relies on guilt-tripping, emotional manipulation, and passive-aggressive behavior to maintain control behind the scenes.

Dueling Egos and Fragile Self-Esteem:

Both covert and overt narcissists have fragile self-esteem at their core, despite their different outward presentations. While overt narcissist may mask their insecurities behind a facade of grandiosity, covert narcissist struggles with feelings of inferiority and seeks external validation to compensate for their hidden self-doubt. This interplay of fragile egos can lead to a constant struggle for dominance and an exhausting battle for attention and recognition within the relationship.


The Blurred Lines of Emotional Abuse:

In relationships where narcissistic tendencies are present, emotional abuse is a real and prevalent issue. When both partners possess narcissistic traits, the potential for emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and psychological warfare escalates. The overt narcissist's direct attacks, accompanied by the covert narcissist's subtle undermining, create a toxic environment that undermines the emotional well-being of both individuals involved.

The Unraveling or the Reinforcement:

A relationship between a covert and overt narcissist can follow two distinct paths. On one hand, it can unravel as the power struggles intensify and the emotional abuse takes its toll. The constant need for validation and control clashes, leaving both parties drained and disillusioned. In such cases, the relationship may eventually dissolve, allowing each individual to confront their own narcissistic tendencies.

On the other hand, the relationship can reinforce and perpetuate their narcissistic traits. By constantly playing off each other's insecurities and manipulating situations to maintain power, the cycle of narcissism becomes self-perpetuating. This path can lead to a deeply toxic and destructive relationship that stagnates personal growth and emotional well-being.


A relationship between a covert and overt narcissist is an intricate dance of egos, power plays, and hidden insecurities. While their initial attraction may seem harmonious, the underlying dynamics can quickly turn toxic and emotionally abusive. It is essential for individuals involved in such relationships to seek self-reflection, therapy, and support to break the cycle of narcissism and embark on a journey of personal growth and healing. Understanding the complex interplay between these two types of narcissism can shed light on the challenges faced and provide a foundation for moving towards healthier relationship dynamics.

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