top of page
Writer's pictureCoach Sophia

Traits of a Covert Male Narcissist: Unveiling the Enigma

When we think of narcissism, we often envision bombastic individuals craving attention and admiration at any cost. However, there is a less conspicuous but equally insidious form of narcissism that operates in the shadows – the covert male narcissist. Unlike their overt counterparts, covert narcissists possess a subtle and elusive nature that makes their behavior challenging to detect. In this blog, we delve into the intriguing world of covert male narcissists, exploring their traits and shedding light on the impact they can have on relationships and those around them.


covert male narcissist traits

1. Superficial Humility:

One of the distinguishing traits of a covert male narcissist is their apparent humility. They often present themselves as modest and self-effacing, adept at downplaying their accomplishments or positive attributes. This façade of humility serves as a manipulative tool, allowing them to gain sympathy and admiration while maintaining an air of false modesty.

2. Victim Mentality:

Covert male narcissists are masters of playing the victim. They excel at portraying themselves as perpetual sufferers, blaming others for their misfortunes and painting a picture of injustice. This victim mentality serves to elicit compassion and attention from those around them, enabling them to manipulate situations and people to their advantage.

3. Emotional Manipulation:

Unlike overt narcissists who are openly aggressive, covert male narcissists employ emotional manipulation as their weapon of choice. They excel at emotional manipulation, using guilt, pity, and passive-aggressive behavior to control and manipulate their victims. They exploit the empathy and compassion of others to meet their own needs while maintaining a façade of innocence.

4. Lack of Empathy:

Empathy is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships. However, covert male narcissists often lack genuine empathy. While they may feign empathy and concern, it is merely a tool they use to exploit others. Their inability to truly connect with the emotions and experiences of others allows them to disregard the well-being of those around them and focus solely on their own desires.

5. Gaslighting:

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation technique employed by covert male narcissists to confuse and destabilize their victims. They distort reality, undermine the confidence of others, and make them doubt their own perceptions, memories, and sanity. This insidious tactic gradually erodes the victim's self-esteem, leaving them vulnerable to further manipulation.

6. Fragile Self-Esteem:

Surprisingly, behind their apparent confidence, covert male narcissists often possess a fragile self-esteem. They crave validation and admiration from others to bolster their sense of self-worth. Any perceived criticism or threat to their ego can trigger intense defensive reactions, leading to manipulation and attempts to regain control over the situation.

7. Triangulation:

Covert male narcissists frequently employ a tactic known as triangulation. They create and foster conflicts between individuals, positioning themselves as the mediator or savior. By creating tension and division, they maintain control over relationships and ensure that they remain the center of attention.


Identifying a covert male narcissist can be challenging due to their covert tactics and the ability to camouflage their true intentions. However, by understanding their traits and manipulative behaviors, we can protect ourselves and our relationships from their detrimental influence. Awareness, self-esteem, and healthy boundaries are crucial in recognizing and dealing with covert male narcissists, ultimately enabling us to cultivate healthier and more fulfilling connections in our lives.


Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page